Transferring things written

5/27/05

MILESTONES
Kurt has always reached all milestones before Shelby. I don't think it has to do with anything mental or physical, just that they are different people and have their own schedule/timeline that they are on. They've been off by as much as 11 months (walking) on different developmental issues

Kurt masters by experimenting; Shelby masters milestones by first observing. She will not make the same mistakes that Kurt does with some things.


SHOPPING LIGISTICS
If I'm close to the return cart area, I return them; if not, I don't.

Before the twins were both walking efficiently, I always used my side by side stroller when grocery shopping. My then 3 (almost 4 year old) could sit in the storage compartment or stand on the storage bar of the stroller behind the twins. When I got to the store, I'd unload the stroller, put the 3 kids in the stroller and head inside. I pulled the shopping cart behind me. When I got back out to the vehicle if it was cold weather, I would put the kids in the car before I loaded the groceries. If it was hot, I turned the car on and jacked up the a/c and loaded the groceries before transferring the kids from the stroller to the car.

When I got home if the twins were awake, I carred both twins inside and put them in the "safe" area (either the living room that was blocked off or in their cribs) before unloading the groceries. If they were asleep, I left them in their seats sleeping and unloaded the groceries first. My 3/4 year old helped me unload the groceries. Now, I live in the country, but if I lived in the city (especially if I lived in an apartment where parking is like a parking lot, I would always carry the kids in first and put them in their crib or in a safe room. I think it would be safer for them to scream in a safe room while I unload groceries than for them to sit in the car for a possible carjack situation. You could also get a folding shopping cart to store in the vehicle for unloading groceries, too.

WEIRD HABITS
I still sleep with the same 2 feather pillows that I had as a young child. I can't sleep with a "hot" pillow, if it becomes less than cold, I am continually turning it over so that my neck/face has coolness agaisnt it.

OUR JOURNEY IN ACHIEVING SAH PARENTING!
After fed/state taxes/ss, my portion of insurance premiums (secondary ins), my net income was 648 every 2 weeks before we found out we were pregnant with twins. Basically, I was bringing home 1300 a month with 2 extra paydays a year.

my monthly expenses already were

220 childcare
200 gasoline (suburban & I lived 22 miles from work)
450 housenote
430 food (eating out & groceries)

My husband took care of the rest of the expenses and had "play" money as well.

One difference is that we did have all 3 of our vehicles paid off. If we had not, we probably could not have chosen for me to stay home with the children.

I worked in a field where I learned a lot about social services so I gathered all the information about benefits that my family would be eligible for if I stayed home with the children. My husband's income could take on the housenote and the childcare would be eliminated, the gasoline drastically reduced, but the food part of the budget had to be replaced.

We ended up qualifying for 298 in foodstamps and the children are insured by the state.

We only plan to take advantage of these benefits until Mary-Jo, Kurt and Shelby are in school at which time I will go back to work.

We've had to drastically cut out the "fun" spending, but the exchange of being able to spend all of the waking time with my children is truly worth it.

I prayed for God to provide a way for me to be a SAHM 3 years before it actually happened. When I found out I was pregnant with the twins, It took some work on my part to put our old budget and what our new budget would look like on paper to bring to my husband for discussion. We talked about my desire to be a sahm for 10 months before it became a reality. We struggled afterwards a bit, but the struggle is getting easier now that we are 2 years into my being a sahm. Just remember, God does give us the desires of our heart, but it is done in HIS time.

GERMS
If the table looks obviously dirty, I use a wipe or ask the waitperson to wipe it for me.

I am not a germ-freak, but my youngest sister is. HOwever, she didn't become that way until after her children were born. I agree with the pp who said to make sure you marry someone with similar germ lifestyles. In my experience with my sister--who I do NOT have a choice of being family with; it is quite hard to "respect" her choices concerning germs because we grew up in the same household with the same set of parents who shared very similar NON-germ freak lifestyles with their children. I seriously do not know how we came out on opposite spectrums of the germfare. Now my difficulty in respecting her germ choices does not mean that I don't respect her as a parent. IMO she is a far better example of a parent than I am.

To be fair, though, both of MIndy's children were born 4 weeks early and each have had some issues to overcome. Her children did not have the secondhand exposure to school children like my twins did when they were born 6 weeks early.

Maybe I'm "old" school and prefer to have my children exposed to childhood illnesses and germs, thus develop antibodies, when they are children as opposed to when they are adults when some illnesses have a greater chance to cause death. Don't get me wrong, I immunize the children on schedule, but I do not avoid sick children as if they are a plague, especially if they are relatives. I think that children need to socialize and socialization is going to involve germs. The more everyday germs that my children are exposed to as preschoolers, the less sick they will be when they enter school.

Just one opinion in a world of many.

WHEN DOES JAB GET TO SPEND TIME WITH THE KIDS?
Jab works 2 mornings a week getting off anywhere between 2-5pm and then works 3-5 evenings a week going in at NOON and arriving home around 10:15pm. He never has a set day or days off a week. The evenings that he works are really tough. I feel sad that Jaba doesn't get to spend much time with our school children, but the schedule that he has is good for our preschoolers.

WHICH ERA WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO BE A TEEN?
I liked being an 80's teen. I had a lot of fun.

If I had to choose a time other than the 80's, I think I'd choose the roaring 20's.Jaba can't bear to see his own children born the normal way.

MALE PREGNANCY
Jaba lost his older brother, Darrall, when Jaba was just 9. Since that time he has not been able to even stay in the room when a family member has just a simple needle stick, much less an IV or BIRTH!

But, man, oh man, would I love to have him experience 8 1/2 months of pregnancy (that's all I ever went). Plus the 3 months of sleeplessness afterwards while nursing on command!