Today, Jaba and I got into a raising your voice match. For my part, I was totally unrealistic, but quite jealous of Jaba's time. However, the root of my discontent really has to do with my desire to have another baby. I can't pretend to know what it's like to suffer through infertility as Jab and I first got pregnant on the pill, then when we planned to have our second child, we got pregnant that same month. The next two times we got pregnant we were practicing NFP and "threw caution to the wind" during my week of ovulation. So I've never had any problems getting pregnant, nor not getting pregnant.
After our heated discussion, and before our customary "making up", I talked with Jaba about how he felt about another baby. We haven't just outright discussed the lack of NFP since the twins birth because I assumed that because he wasn't asking "is it safe?" he was willing. As it turns out he is willing and ready to accept any children that God decides to bless us with.
I have desired to have another baby since February '04. Jaba and I have not even been practicing NFP since the twins were born in Mar '03. I know that I have said that I would be satisfied with the children that we have now, but this desire just keeps getting stronger. Please pray with me for God's will. If His will is for us to have more children, I ask that God will give me patience to wait on His timing. If His will is for us to not have any more children, I pray that God will take this desire from me.
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2 comments:
I will pray for you Marilyn. I will also pray that if GOD's will is for you to have the children you have that you will be given peace.
I will be praying for you, Marilyn. I truly understand the desire to have another child. I've had that desire for several years now. Due to having problems with my thyroid...I'm not able to conceive. It certainly saves money on birth control. But, my husband and I have never really been "birth control" people. We've always left it up to God.
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