50 by 50

. 1. Lead my children to salvation
. 2. Go on a mission trip in a 3rd world country (at least once every 3-5 years)
. 3. Take an Anniversary Cruise Trip (I don't care where!)
. 4. Return to and maintain average weight of 175 pounds
. 5. Buy enough land to leave 2-3 acres to each of my children
. 6. Repair and recover my furniture to coordinate
. 7. Build a shed for storage
. 8. Take a week vacation every year with Jab and the children
. 9. Get a family portrait at least once every year
10. Finish my college degree
11. Meet all my RMM friends in person
12. Be a good long-term friend for the rest of my or their lifetime to at least one person outside of my family.
13. Host Christmas at our home for my husband's family (just his sister and nephews, but we always must do it at their home.
14. Write a children's book about Cynthia, for Cynthia
15. Write a children's book about Mary-Jo, for Mary-Jo
16. Write a children's book about Al, for Al
17. Write a children's book about Shelby, for Shelby
18. Write a children's book about Kurt, for Kurt
19. Renew my wedding vows before God as a Christian
20. Throw a surprise 40th birthday for Jaba
21. Read the entire Bible through every year
22. Print all of my dig cam photos.
23. Put all pictures in photo albums (I'm not a scrapper)
24. Scrapbook highschool years for each of the children
25. Finish remodel, floors, window/door & basboard trim as well as paint entire interior
26. Put up a fence around my entire property
27. Put in a swimming pool after the youngest child turns at least 5
28. Add large deck off of the French doors in my living room.
29. Decorate my home
30. Once my kitchen is finished, invite family and/or friends over for dinner at least once a month
31. Assist each of my children in attending college (although Kurt and Shelby will be HS seniors the year I turn 50)
32. Be submissive and say, "Yes, Lord," even when I do not understand
33. After all the children are in school, become a regular volunteer for a local ministry and/or non-profit
34. Become a mentor to a young mother (other than any of my children)
35. Be a Christmas Cheer donor for at least one family every year
36. Provide Thanksgiving dinner for a needy family every year
37. Volunteer to read for a homebound or nursing home senior
38. Volunteer in a soup kitchen/food pantry
39. Grow my hair long and donate to lock of love
40. Do not color my hair (unless my husband asks me to)
41. Play in a community orchestra
42. Learn to play the oboe
43. Teach each of my children to play an instrument
44. Sing as a family for a special in church (jab is omitted from this one)
45. Memorize, learn and apply at least once scripture a week
46. Pray with my husband on a regular basis
47. Family devotions at least once weekly (led alternately by everyone in the family)
48. Develop and stick to a true budget
49. Tummy tuck once I've maintained my weight goal for at least one year
50. Live to see my 50th birthday!!!!

Why are digcams bad for me?

Because I never have the pictures printed! I've lost so many of the pictures that I should have had printed from the time Kurt and Shelby were born. I have the vacation pictures printed, but very few of the others actually printed. Not to mention when they get stacked up like this, it's going to cost a fortune whether I print them at home or an internet store or local store.

The Gift Nobody Longs For

No, it's not the title of the song, but Pain has been a gift this year. This song has been very comforting these last few months.

"In the Waiting" by Greg Long

Pain
The gift nobody longs for, still it comes
And somehow leaves us stronger
When it's gone away

Pray
I try and pray for Your will to be done
But I confess it's never fast enough for me

It seems
the hardest part is waiting on You
When what I really want
Is just to see Your hand move

(Chorus)
I want a peace beyond my understanding
I want to feel it fall like rain
In the middle of my hurting
I want to feel Your arms as they surround me
And let me know that it's okay
To be here in this place
Resting in the peace that only comes
In the waiting

Time
Time to let it go and just believe
Trusting in what no one else but You can see

Free
Freedom from the fears that close me in
When I can't get beyond where I have been

But then again
The silence doesn't mean that I'm alone
As long as I can hear
That I am still Your own

(Repeat chorus)

In the waiting...

Quote of the day

"I love you, Mama."

baseball season

Baseball season is almost over. I'm sad because it is just so much fun and Al and Mary-Jo are really beginning to pay attention and follow through with the functions that they are supposed to do in their positions. For the most part they have played left field who's main purpose at this level is to back up 1st base which gets a lot of throws.

Tonight the team that Alex played was a pretty weak team so Alex got to play pitcher, 3rd and then catcher. But the biggest accomplishment for him is that he actually hit a legitimate double which is big considering that he is a slow runner--mostly due to his encopresis. A couple of weeks ago he played first and tagged the runner out when he stepped off the plate. I just wish that I had more of an opportunity to practice throwing with him one-on-one. It's just difficult to find the time to do that with little ones under foot.

Mary-Jo hit her second homerun of the season tonight. She is quite the athlete and quickly learns what she's supposed to do and why it is necessary to do it even if she doesn't touch the ball. The 1st baseman only missed the ball twice tonight, but Mary-Jo was there to keep the runners from advancing, which is exactly what she was supposed to do.

Cynthia is like Jab and me, she has natural ability and can easily step into just about any position. She is the lead-off batter for her team, so she's not a power hitter, but she gets on base at least 1-2 times a game and has scored 90% of the time that she get on base, which is awesome.

26 more days

He's Saved! He's Saved!

Where do I start. I was only going to share the whole thing with just my most close and personal friends, but I think it's important to be completely open and honest with anyone who is reading my blog. I'm not going to write a book, because it is a book, but I'll write a Cliff Note version.

Two nights ago, I discovered that my husband was in a 5+ year online and phone relationship with another woman. I cried in deep agony. We talked. Jaba said he wanted and needed to change his life. I failed to help him do that.

Yesterday evening, it got worse when I discovered that he was having internet and phone sex with even more women. I cried some more and then I got mad. I called him at work to talk--Jab asked to wait until he got home. In a moment of anger I told him I didn't want him to come home. But I called back about 15 minutes later and said I'd meet him at work. I yelled, he apologized and repeated that He needed help. God told me to call our friends (church) Kelly (man) and Angela because I knew that I wasn't in a frame of mind to be able to do this on my own.

Jab confided in and confessed to Kelly on the front porch at my request as I just could not go through hearing everything and I wanted Jaba to not be afraid to confess everything. About an hour later they came inside. Kelly told me that he truly believed that Jaba was sorry for what he had done to me. He then asked me my intentions and I told him that Jaba is my husband. I do not want a divorce and I do not want a separation. Then Kelly led Jaba through F.A.I.T.H. (which is a guideline to lead someone to salvation that is along the same lines as "The Roman Road"). Jaba prayed a sinner's prayer. Then Kelly informed him that he would need to acknowledge to the church his decision to follow Christ and asked Jab to say a prayer in his own words thanking God for what He had done and that he would inform others.

I believed that Jaba truly had done this, but with a broken heart I was still skeptical, but after church tonight, I am not. We attended a new believers class (its a series of classes) and hearing my husband tell the teacher that he had told everyone at work and his friends about his decision and then giving his testimony, I am no longer doubting his transformation or that he is a "new creature" in Christ.

Jab and I prayed together this morning. Then tonight our family prayed together. Kurt and Shelby even prayed. I am shouting Hallelujah because I have the spiritual leader in our home for which I have been praying for at least 8 years.

God does answer prayer.

He's almost 8

Second stage of remodeling

The electrical has been moved and the walls are starting to go back up.

Remodel

Okay, I finally have some pictures of the inbetween of remodeling.

RMM M&G Aquarium (more)

RMM M&G Aquarium

RMM M&G Picking Oranges

RMM M&G Park by Cindy's (more)

RMM M&G Park by Cindy's

RMM M&G at Cindy's

Baseball has started

Al and Mary-Jo started ball practice last week. I have to say, I'm having so much fun! Really, I am. I get to play with ball with Mary-Jo, Al, and the boys on Al's team before the coach makes it to practice and during Al's team's second practice the coach even asked if I'd help out. So I got to play pitcher pretty much the whole time. It only took me about 50 pitches before I got into the zone.

Opps, this was suppose to be about the kids. Mary-Jo and Al are really enjoying playing ball with Mama.

Basketball is finished

Upwards Basketball season is over. Mary-Jo and Alex played this year. Cynthia was too old and Kurt and Shelby have 2 more years before they are eligible.
Al thoroughly enjoyed playing basketball even if he's not the most talented he did the most sharing--making sure that everyone got to touch the ball equally. Mary-Jo wouldn't even get on the court until the last 4 games of the season. The first game that she was finally coaxed to get into was during the last 2 minutes. As soon as she walked onto the court she was hit by the ball and that was it for that game. The next game I bribed her with skittles. She got to taste a color of the rainbow for every 2 minutes that she played. She played most of the second half that game. Then the next game she played the whole game and even passed the ball inbound a couple of times. The final game she was still tentative about playing, but she did play the whole game again and even dribbled the ball a couple of times then quickly passed it off when she allowed it to be passed inbound to her during the last half of the game.

No that's not an excuse to avoid, forget or ignore my blog and keeping a record of what is going on in the SMACK household.

Fruit Cocktail Cherries

Do you remember counting out the fruit cocktail cherries so that another sibling wouldn't get more that you?

This afternoon after putting Kurt and Shelby down for their nap, Alex asked if he could have some fruit. He brought me the Fruit Cocktail can (family size of course) to open. When I pulled the lid off I saw all the cherries and it brought me back to my childhood. I'm the oldest of 3 girls and we would argue over who had more cherries. Beware if you did because the other 2 sisters would make sure they got their fair share! However, today as I was eating a bowl for myself, I just was not as impressed with the taste of the cherries. Today it was all about the peaches.


I have other half and step siblings, but they did not come into the picture until I was away at college.

Division

When the last parent pass away there is much division to be done. It is especially difficult to do when both children have not been told of the wishes and the parent has not left a spelled out list of his/her wishes. There is a lot of sentimentality attached to items left behind and feelings can be hurt when inheritance is not divided equally. This is the lesson that I am learning after the passing of my husband's last parent.

Jaba's & my SIL's work schedules preclude them from being able to go into their dad's house together. So it's been my SIL and myself going through everything. I've told Jab that it's hard for me to tell his sister, "no, I think Jab would like to have that." It's not that I can't tell her no, because I am representing Jaba's interest while I'm there, it's that I love both of them and I hurt for both of their loss. Essentially, they are all that is left. There are no Aunts, Uncles or cousins that they grew up with. It is just them, their spouses and their children.

There is still a lot left to do so if I don't update as often as I normally do, I know that my friends will understand.

4-17-34 to 1-25-06

My husband's Dad and the children's Granddad passed away Wednesday, this week. He had been battling prostate cancer for 18 months and was winning until these last 3 weeks. We were told almost 2 weeks ago that he had a week to 6 weeks left. The twins (almost 3) last saw Granddad the 2 weeks ago Friday before he went into the hospital and before we knew the prognosis. Jab and I decided to take our 5, 7, and 13 year old to see him in the hospital before Dad came home on hospice. We didn't tell them it was goodbye before they went in and they really didn't talk with Granddad but Aunt Darlene, the kids and I just chatted quietly between ourselves for a little while while we were in the room with Granddad sleeping. We knew this would be comforting to Dad. That evening we explained to the children that Granddad was really sick and that he was going to go and be with Jesus really soon. We told them that Granddad really wanted them to be there that night so that he could enjoy their presence, but that he didn't want anyone to cry in the room so he asked us to wait until afterwards to tell them. They did not see him again until the funeral home.

Alex did get to spend a lot of time with me at Aunt Darlene's house while I helped to take care of Granddad, but we had Alex occupied with schoolwork, and distracted with games. Alex was in the house when Granddad passed away but he was unaware until almost an hour and a half later after all the "officials" had come and gone.

Pray for my FIL

We were told some devistating news on Monday. My FIL, Al, has lost his battle with cancer. It started as prostate cancer, then spread to the bone. It was responding well to treatment, but in the last 3 weeks his PSA's increased dramatically so my SIL took him in on Monday for some tests. The cancer has spread to his kidneys with no hope for recovery. He is now at home (my SIL's) and is in hospice care. However, hospice care does not mean that he is cared for 24-7 or even 8 hours a day. The only care not provided by family is about 7 1/2 hours a week, M-F.

Please pray for our family as we go through this final journey with my FIL. He is my "Dad" and I love him as such. I probably won't be posting anymore to this blog until he has passed on.

Speech

Tomorrow I am going to quit talking about Speech Therapy for Shelby and really do something about it.

Banana

Did you know that you HAVE to start eating a banana from the pointed end?

Usually Kurt and Shelby will get their own whole banana for breakfast, but this morning I only had one to share between them. So I had to break it in half as I've done on several occasions. They are never happy about it, but a half of a banana is better than no banana. Anyway, I have a habit of giving it to them with the broken side up, but they always turn it around and start eating from the pointed end.

The lovliest sounds

"mmmm-mmmm" when your child is squeezing your neck really tight. It's especially sweet when all 5 are doing it at the same time.

Children giggles when they don't know you are listening.

"I love you, mama."

When one of the twins asks their crying sibling, "Okay? Okay?"

That small patting sound when your toddler pats your back like you've done to them since birth for comfort and burping purposes.

"mmmmmWWAAAA!" They start that mmmmm sound 10 steps before they get to you and are at a full run when they jump in your lap or arms.

Ellie Update--Prayers still needed

Ellie was removed from dialysis over the weekend. She continues making urine on her own, so they are monitoring her. The doctors have told JL and Liz that she may need to go back on dialysis sometime in the future, but right now, she is doing well enough to be off of it! We were very excited about that.

Since she isn't on a vent or dialysis anymore, JL and Liz have been putting her in a wagon and pulling her around the hospital, outside for walks on the sidewalk, etc...just to get her out of the hospital.

She is still basically "asleep" and has very brief periods of alertness. When she is alert, she is often very angry and scared and cries a lot. I know that is very hard for everyone to see and deal with.

Right now, plans are being made for Ellie to be transferred to a rehab hospital. There is not a hospital available in Austin, so right now they are looking at one in Dallas. Because of the stroke, she will have to learn to walk and talk again. The doctors are unsure as to the extent of the brain damage, so we may also be looking at some form of mental retardation. It will be just a waiting game to determine that.

I'll let you know more as I hear it. Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers.

Good News = EKG is excellent

The bad news is that I thought I was about to have a heart attack and I was hurting bad enough to elevate my blood pressure to 179 over 98 about 2 hours after my most severe pain.

Still not exactly sure why I had the pain in my chest and radiating into my arm above my elbow, though. But the doctor seems to think it had to do with a chest muscle.

Happy New Year!

I spent some special time with the kids today. I took them to McDonald's playland for a couple of hours after we cleaned the house today in preparation for their two cousins to spend Sunday night with them. We went for two reasons. First, Darlene (SIL) asked me to pick up supper for my FIL as she needed to sleep today to go to work tonight. Second, It's easier to keep a clean house if you are NOT IN IT!!!

Afterwards, I took them to Mama's house so I could wash laundry (my washer is out of commission). She and my step-dad are sick. So the kids all played outside for a couple hours while I helped put away most of the Christmas decor between washing my 8 loads of laundry. By 7:30 I still was not finished with laundry, so I took the kids home, put Kurt and Shelby down for the night. Then I set Mary-Jo and Al up to watch the fireworks out their bedroom window to watch the neighbors fire them off. Afterwards, they watched the Scooby-Doo movie until Jab got home from work around 10pm. I finished my laundry around 1:45am and then loaded up and crept home while keeping an eye out for drunks.

It's not our usual NYE. However, Jab & my SIL are off work and the kids got an extra day off from school on Monday, so we will be doing our celebration with that side of the family on Jan 2nd.

I hope all my net friends had a nice NYE and I pray that all of you are blessed with much happiness throughout 2006.